Straight Up with Sherri

Saturday, April 23, 2005

The "Living Will" Spin

The Powers That Blog has a post on the living will they received from an attorney......

THEY AREN'T SIGNING IT! See why.......


  • This kind of makes me want to draw up my own "Living Will":

    1. Should I be in any condition whereby I am unable to communicate my express wishes, the following procedures shall be undertaken.
    a. Keep me alive by any means possible. This includes natural or artificial nourishment and hydration. It includes any and all medical procedures, machines, transfusions, transplants, priests, medicine men, psychics, and politicians.
    b. This demand and authorization shall remain in effect for 15,876,325 years from the date of my last written communication that was personally signed by me. In the case that no such documents can be located, this time frame shall be multiplied by a factor of 100,000 to provide for any contingencies.
    c. I hereby disapprove of any courts to intervene to change the provisions of this document without my express written authorization, which shall be notorized by no less than three (3) living Popes of the Roman Catholic Church and not less than one (1) canonized saint.

    2. Should the conditions of article 1 be considered unclear or deemed invalid by some court then the following shall be undertaken.
    a. Whatever judge(s) has chosen to overrule this document shall be subjected to exactly the same treatment as I , together with all his/her spouses (current and prior), children, lovers, and political contributors. Household pets, however, shall be exempt from this clause.
    b. All personal property of the judges described in Article 2, clause a. shall become part of my estate. None of my estate (including that acquired in clause a) shall be deemed to be used or taken by any government whatsoever.
    c. My body, its parts and organs may be used for transplants only, subject to the following condition. No freezing, refrigeration, or chemical treatments are permitted. Organs may be removed from my unembalmed body only after a period of 17 years from the date of my declared death. None of my parts may be used for any scientic research whatsoever.

    3. When I recover from the conditions described in Articles 1 and 2, above.
    a. I am coming after anyone who made any attempt to subvert my demands.
    b. I am bringing friends, lots of friends (living or otherwise).
    c. I will get even with you.
    d. You will rue the day you tried to murder me, abuse me, exploit me, or use me for political purposes!

    I welcome any improvements or suggestions for this document.

    By Blogger Right Wing Nut Job, at 3:29 PM  

  • RWNJ

    pssst... I think you forgot the part that says this document applies regardless of weather or not you were of sound mind and body when you wrote it......

    By Blogger Straight Up with Sherri, at 3:35 PM  

  • Sherri:
    Nobody has ever accused me of being of sound mind or body. But that is a very good point for normal people.

    By Blogger Right Wing Nut Job, at 3:45 PM  

  • I just get a kick out that part of legal documents....

    Like the alternative would be....

    I am COMPLETELY NUTS as I sign this, but it is ALL LEGAL ANYWAY!

    I like it..

    By Blogger Straight Up with Sherri, at 3:47 PM  

  • no less than 3 living popes -- great line!! I gotta love you.

    By Blogger levi from queens, at 5:51 PM  

  • I think no matter where you stand on life sustaining issues, everyone should have a living will. The Terri Schiavo case is the best example why. If you don't want someone else making the decisions for you, be sure you legally put it in writing to assure your wishes are met and respected.


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:21 PM  

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