Straight Up with Sherri

Saturday, February 05, 2005

A Day Off May be in Order........

Sorry to not have anything very interesting up yet, but......................

Sherri's usual attitude toward's housework.....
Posted by Hello

I mean HOUSEWORK???????

It really does STINK!!!!!!!
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And I have heard..........

Ugly? Hmmmmm.... I always heard that housework won't kill you, but I'm usually not interested in taking any chances.......
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But you can see what I am faced with......

Where do I start????
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I'm organized........what? What are you trying to say?
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So, until I can find one of these......

Searched for hours...couldn't find a picture of Hank Azaria in his denim short shorts and halter top.....DANG!
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or one of these......

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I'm kinda stuck taking a few hours with........

Doing a little bit of this......
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Well, I might gain a little more pitty with this shot.......
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But before you go, here are a few of Sherri's cleaning tips........

  • Sweeping and Mopping the Floors:
  • Have dog sweep floors with tail and lick up all crumbs...(any stubborn spots that require scrubbing recruit cat... may have to add tuna water to spot). If you don't have a dog or cat...well you are in trouble.... go find one roaming the neighborhood quick!

  • Vacuuming
  • Call for demo from salesman. Have him show you how the vacuum works in all parts of the house... insisting the carpet looks the same... but really is different in all parts of the house. Tips for success: Don't always call same company... keep a chart and rotate.

  • Dusting
  • Only do what is at eye level or below. And only right before someone is coming over! Run rag over everything quickly (don't even waste your precious time on the Pledge or Endust... that's minutes away from your computer...and that just is unacceptable!) For the illusion of using those products... spray a few squirts to air like air freshener.

  • Laundry
  • First find a good place to hide it! If you have to do it... like you have no underwear... (heck who needs underwear). Okay...lets say its time to fold those rotten clothes... run the dryer again...and again and again... and when the utility bill comes.... have a stroke!

  • Cleaning Toilet
  • Close the lid.

  • Cleaning Shower
  • Close the shower door or curtain

  • .Cleaning the Rest of the Bathroom
  • Close the door. Again... for the illusion of a freshly cleaned bath... pour some Lysol in the trash can... that illusion will stay until you finally get someone to empty the trash for you. Speaking of which..

  • Taking out the Trash
  • If you cant find anyone in your house to take it out... bribe a neighbor... say you hurt your back or some other sob story...that one might be good for getting at least a few sympathy dinners out of the neighbor as well! Try not to use it too often...they might get suspicious.

  • Dishes
  • Dishwasher... if it doesn't come off run it again and again...if that doesn't work... throw the dish out and start fresh. Better yet... paper plates, plastic utensils and plastic cups are far better way to go... (as long as your neighbor is taking out the trash).

Now-- If you are dissapointed, I apologize.

Be sure to check back, becuase I am planning on coming back very soon. If you don't get back here today, be SURE to check in tomorrow. We will be having a VERY SPECIAL post on the SUPERBOWL and how you can help our soldiers by getting yourself a GREAT POSTER. We will also be having a very special guest.....

A TRUE HERO........
Posted by Hello

God bless and happy house cleaning........

Now I need to go talk to my neighbor......Oh! How my back hurts.....


  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:14 PM  

  • That's quite a pig sty you've got on your hands. You may want to consider taking some of your house pictures off your blog, lest the Health Dept be called anonymously. Seriously, consider taking at least that really bad one down.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:19 PM  

  • LOL!!!

    They are pictures off of Google....

    No worries.....

    They may call all they like. I'm perfectly secure with my home. If people cannot appreciate humor.........their thing I have learned, people will think what they want.

    Now..... back to work......

    By Blogger Straight Up with Sherri, at 3:24 PM  

  • - On those grim occassions when mini-me's cave dwelling becomes qualified for federal disaster relief I just rent a back-hoe.....saves time.....

    By Blogger - Hunter, at 4:16 PM  

  • Those that continue to bring in profanity, when you have specifically laid out the rule not to need to be restrained. You can say names without using profanity if you have half a brain. Otherwise your posts will likely be pulled and the point you were making will not be seen.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:38 PM  

  • Okay..... panting.........dang hard work.....

    Floor is wet, time for break........

    Where is everyone??????

    C'mon, I'm trying to clean the place up a bit...

    By Blogger Straight Up with Sherri, at 5:41 PM  

  • LOL!!!

    Hunter...... can I borrow the back hoe?????

    By Blogger Straight Up with Sherri, at 5:42 PM  

  • Sherri:
    May I borrow your inspiration? I am very messy, but the inside of my head is organized. The entropy is a zero-sum game. My wife is a "neat freak". It's "everything in it's place but she doesn't have the foggiest idea where that is". My organization is more like the Arafat "Red Binder" method. I know which pile things are in, it's just difficult to get to some things, sometimes.
    Suddenly, one day, the pile is missing!
    "Where did you put it?"
    "I don't know. If you want to know where it is, you should put it away yourself."
    "But I DID know where it was, it was RIGHT HERE."
    "Well, it's not now."
    --- "Aaarrghhh !!!"

    By Blogger Right Wing Nut Job, at 6:11 PM  

  • RWNJ


    I remember when I lived with my first husband (I worked 60 hours a week- he worked about 20 and played Play Station the rest of the time-- arg!) He use to get mad because I would sit on the coucn and take my hsoes off..... HE would whine that I needed to pick them up. I'd say "They ain't botherin' me none- you odn't like them there- YOU pick them up.....


    He was thrilled with me, of course...

    By Blogger Straight Up with Sherri, at 6:29 PM  

  • I can sure relate to this one! Say, what happened to your post about JFK in the future? I was planning to read it later and it's gone. Maybe it got swallowed up by the vacuum cleaner lol ;D

    By Blogger Beautiful Belgian Babe, at 7:01 PM  

  • "I hate housework. It's so unrewarding. You get your whole house clean and six months later you have to do it all over again" ~~Phyllis Diller

    Great post and pics!!


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:12 PM  

  • Sherri:

    I am glad you took a "break" today. Email me in the next days if you want some ideas about topical matter, as I am sure your other readers would be more than happy to contribute. Everyone have a nice remaining weekend and maybe next week will be better for all of us than last week was. I feel like I have been thru the grinder myself in the last seven days and all I can do is look up.

    Regards to all.


    By Blogger jlfintx, at 12:32 AM  

  • Hi Sherri,

    Great minds think alike ... I'm in a major housecleaning mode too! I just carted out some trash (old boxes, etc.) and now I can finally see the floor of my living room. Bathroom and kitchen ... finally talked myself out of the "if you mop the middle of the floor, that's what really counts" mode and went around and cleaned all the edges and corners with a paper towel. Laundry: my secret is two laundry baskets, "clean" and "dirty"; that way I can live out of my laundry basket even when I'm too lazy to do the whole dirty load at once.

    Good luck!


    By Blogger Asher Abrams, at 2:31 PM  

  • I guess you disprove the old joke-- How can you tell when its time to clean your apartment? A. Look in the front of your pants. If you find a penis, its not time yet.

    (Hoping this meets standards for an acceptable comment, and apologizing if not.)

    By Blogger levi from queens, at 8:41 AM  

  • sherri:

    i know we just "met", but i have this friend who does house cleaning, she is cheap. About $75-$100 for 7-8 hours. She will do laundry and mop and sweep and organize etc....


    By Blogger dashampton, at 11:43 PM  

  • Those are a lot of good ideas to make the house look clean. I especially like the calling of the different companies to clean the carpet.


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:35 PM  

  • Sherri,I want to sniff your dirty panties!

    By Anonymous Dickie, at 1:55 PM  

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