Amber Fry: Fearless or Floozy?

There is no doubt that Amber is “making the rounds” on national TV these last few days. I have to admit that I am a little surprised at the vast difference in opinion on Amber. I would expect the extreme attitudes towards a political figure, but not towards Amber. I realize there is never a 100% consensus on ANYONE; however, the range is unreal. I find that the majority of negative opinions come from men who view her as a Jezebel figure or from women that seem “angry” with other women. Then there are the opinions that keep thrusting Amber forth as a hero figure. These opinions seem to come from people who are either counting the days ‘til Scott Peterson meets his “justice,” or those that have something to “gain” from her actions.

Me? Let’s start by saying that I understand Amber. I don’t see her as malicious, vile, vindictive, or even sleazy. I also do not see her as a morally courageous icon of a heroine who has overcome some tragic adversity. I see her as a woman, like so many others, whose picker was broken (some of us can be stuck in a room of 100 and men and we always seem to pick the biggest loser of the bunch), but through this experience has grown and matured, and even found some dignity within herself that she did not know was there. When I say I do not see her as sleazy, it is because I do not see where she attempted to use sex as a way of manipulation or power; nor do I see where she is just morally corrupt and willing to go spend the night with any and every man that shows an interest. I think in her world view, she felt that in order to “win a man’s love,” you must please him; and we all know one way to please a man is, well…… you get the picture. I have a dear friend that sees the world the same way. It is a shame. She is such a joy to be around. She has a sparkle in her soul, and she is truly beautiful inside and out. My heart aches for her because she is so worthy and capable of a pure and sincere love, yet the men she has loved in her life will never be able to give her that kind of love in return.

I do find Ambers’s choice to sleep with Scott without being married to be morally wrong, but we ALL have moral sin in our lives. I feel her poor choices leading to her relationship were driven by that need that all of us have to feel valued and loved, while not understanding that no man is ever going to give her self-value or self love. I understand the wounds in someone’s life that may lead them to base their self worth on all the wrong things and all the wrong people. This doesn’t excuse her behavior, but motive for someone’s actions is definitely key to how to CHANGE this behavior. Amber’s choices in how to deal with this situation once she realized the mess she was in show me a great potential for her to turn her life around.

Those that are cruel and vile towards her don’t really bother me. I am sure these people have some of their own issues they are projecting onto her. I feel most people with class know the difference between judging her intimate choices and judging her soul and her character. It surprises me how people claim that she is portraying this “victim” image. I don’t see this. I agree she was more victim than accomplice in Scott’s sick and twisted little games, and she was lied to and manipulated. However, she has really stepped to the plate. Once she realized he had been lying to her and his wife was missing, she didn’t curl up in a fetal position and wail, nor did she cling to him for dear life just begging for more abuse (I have seen PLENTY of women do this). I see a woman that decided to proactive and find some solace in turning the tables. She actually found power within herself to take action to try and create something positive from her circumstances. This is the sign of someone who does not shroud themselves in “victim hood.”

I feel Amber paid a great personal price for her poor choices. In hearing Amber talk of her ordeal I see two very distinct and vital lessons she has learned. She has learned to distinguish between realizing that Scott, and Scott alone, is responsible for his actions and she does not carry any blame for his choices, and realizing that she made choices that in hindsight were obviously unwise and accepts that she did contribute to being caught up in this mess.

Some may begrudge her a moneymaking book deal. I don’t. She acted responsibly and with poise in handling the media fiasco, much to the credit of her attorney, but it is Amber who headed the advice of her counsel. Many single mothers would have been trying to manipulate this event at every turn. You won’t find me purchasing her book, or reading her book, but I certainly feel she has the right to get her side out, especially after the way the media has dissected her entire life. The very media that seems to shove “sex with no consequences” down our throats on every available occasion. Amber is no saint, but she sure isn’t trash either. I am relieved to see a woman in her circumstance find maturity and growth through it. In fact, I think it is encouraging. One of my favorite parts in her whole journey is that she is so normal. She did not milk this fiasco for every possible minute of attention, and she did not turn out to be some heroic symbol. She truly represents what most American’s would be like in this situation. Nothing more, nothing less. I don’t know if Amber will turn her life around completely or not. I do pray that she finds that love she so hungers for. Maybe instead of buying her book, I’ll send her a book, the Bible.