Straight Up with Sherri

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Where's DAD???????

Before I start on today's rant, I just want to make it clear that I am NOT interested in "menbashing." For anyone that may get that idea, please refer to THIS and THIS. These are two previous posts in which I think it will be clear that I am NOT to be mistaken with a woman that hates and blames men for all misery, and I am certainly no feminist! With that being said, I hope you enjoy today's post.

I am a HUGE fan of
Glenn Beck. Let me repeat, I am a HUGE fan of Glenn Beck. However, I have a small bone to pick with Glenn. He spent some time yesterday and today talking about a news story of a 13 year old girl who got pregnant to her 15 year old boyfriend and ultimately ended up killing her child. Glenn has a great way of truly getting to the real causes of the issues we face in our lives. Glenn recognized that allowing a 13 year old girl to date was the FIRST red flag. The fact that she was dating an OLDER boy; red flag number TWO. In his monologue he proceeded to apply blame on the girl, her mother, and the boyfriend. He even involved the brothers of the young girl. I was amazed and disappointed. I never heard ONE mention of WHERE WAS DAD? NOT ONE! Glenn's monologue today was actually spent admitting that he may have been a little tough on mom yesterday, because he didn't have all the facts. I didn't think he was hard on her at all. Darn right mom has to share blame when she is allowing her 13 year old girl to date a 15 year old boy. When more of the details were known, it turned out that mom didn't know that her daughter was sneaking around to see this boy. In fact, mom was adamant about teaching her daughter to focus on her education and other important goals in her life. I am very proud of Glenn for clearing these facts up. Glenn's integrity is admirable. Still, no mention of WHERE'S DAD????

I have nothing but admiration and respect for Glenn. In fact, I thought for sure HE would have been the first to recognize the hypocrisy we as society practice in so readily offering up mothers as parents who have "dropped the ball" and recognizing their accountability, but we never seem to apply the same standard to men. If this story were that of a young girl living alone with her father, the first thing we would have wondered is "Where is her mother? Did she die? Is she on drugs? Was she unfit? What?" In fact, I am not even sure if the 13 year old's mother IS a single mom. WHY? I did a
Google Search on this story. I found not just the story linked above, but I also found this one, this one, this one, and this one. Not ONE of these stories EVER mentioned the teen girl's father. NOT ONE! If you feel like taking the time and reading ALL of these news stories, you will find that the young girl's brothers are mentioned, the teen boy's family is mentioned, even his sister; but never is the teen girl's father EVER mentioned.

So what "inference" do I draw from all this? Feminism is a rapantly accepted theme, even to those of us that DON'T BUY INTO IT! It is just a subtle example, but I think it speaks volumes! It is just assumed that the father of the young girl is a non-issue. It is not even considered that her father deserves a mention. I want to know. Where is he? Is he in the home and just has no comment? Has he passed away? Is he a dead-beat? Does he share custody of this 13 year old girl? WHAT? I claim that the feminist agenda is blindly accepted because even Glenn Beck, one of the most PRO-FAMILY, PRO-ACCOUNTABILITY people I know of, never mentions DAD EITHER! I expect it from the liberal media. Heck, I am sure they didn't realize that any of their readers would ever question why Dad was never mentioned. I do NOT expect this from Glenn. I don't say this in any way, shape, or form to slam Glenn. In fact, I am using him to show how truly warped the mentality of society has become in their acceptance that both parents are NOT important to the development of a child.

I have a dear friend that was raised without his father. His parents were divorced the very year he was born. (He is also a great Glenn Beck fan.) He said that the effect of growing up without his father lead him to make some bad choices. He explained that he went looking for that empty place. Unfortunately, most boys missing their dads usually end up just searching for acceptance from the easiest group to get it from. This most likely ends up to NOT be the best crowd to be hanging out with. I think it is the same for girls. They look for that acceptance from the easiest place to gain it. I doubt there is any easier place for a young girl to find acceptance than from an older teenage boy that has only ONE thing on his mind. I have a feeling that these teen boys are VERY accepting of her. They are MORE than willing to "show her the love and acceptance" that Daddy is not around to give her.

We all accept the fact that growing up without a mother is quite a hardship. We seldom admit that we have accepted that growing up without a father is just not as much of a hardship. The effects may culminate in a different manner. In fact, the results are different for EVERY child who experiences the absence of a parent.

I am not interested in shifting blame away from single mothers who are poor parents. I know some single mothers that truly have NO CLUE on how to parent. I know MARRIED couples that are far worse than many single mothers. I will go so far as to even say that the fact that my children are growing up without their father in their life is something I certainly hold as my fault; after all, I picked the bum to marry and then had children with him! THIS was obviously not the wisest decision. I am paying the price for those poor choices. The sad part is that my children are paying the ultimate price.

ALL that being said, just let me ask you to challenge yourself next time you start judging ANY single parent and their faults. START with the absent parent. No matter how poorly of a job the present parent is doing, the ABSENT parent should NEVER escape our radar. Who knows, maybe this young girl's father is your co-worker or boss. Maybe this father is your golf buddy. Maybe he is your child's teacher or doctor. Just because he doesn't have a face, does not make him unaccountable. I refuse to accept the feminist ideology. I refuse to accept that fathers are NOT needed. It is possible to raise children well on your own, but it should NEVER be considered the BEST option. The child deserves all the BEST you can give. Anything less is just pure selfishness.

I hope Glenn will forgive me for pointing this out, but I feel it is WAY too important to NOT point out. Thanks for all you do Glenn, and may God bless you, your family, and your crew. (even Captain Blackheart!)


  • I was actually closer to my mother through my teen years, then she died. This woman was my greatest teacher. She held closely to the belief that a girl learns her feminity from her father and a boy his masculinity from his mother. Something about what it takes too serve and please..
    Sherri, you have hit upon a great void in our society that wants to fix blame and yet, at the same time, hold everyone blameless. Our societal voyeurs (mostly the media) would have us believe that a complete, nuclear family is not necessary. Maybe it isn't absolutely necessary, but it certainly is better in most cases. At least, in my humble opinion.

    By Blogger Right Wing Nut Job, at 6:38 PM  

  • I RARELY comment- but I am asking RWNJ to PLEASE email me. I respect your right and priveledge to privacy- so if you are not comfortable with emailing me, I certainly respect that. Thank you. Sherri

    By Blogger Straight Up with Sherri, at 8:54 PM  

  • Sherri, beautiful post. A very sad story, and you are right to raise the question of accountabilty.

    This is also a good example of how the media show their biases by deliberately omitting important, relevant facts.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:28 AM  

  • ... that anon was me, by they way ...


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:17 PM  

  • You've got balls like church bells. I am extremely knocked out by your courage and your nerve for just writing about how you feel about this. I don't expect us to agree on everything, but I am totally decked that you had the stones to even go here. If you want to read more stories on this, go to:

    Check it if you like. Either way, thanks for the guts to have an oipinion.

    By Blogger Masculiste, at 12:40 AM  

  • I have a sneaking suspicion that the lack of mention of a father in all of the stories tends to indicate one of two things:
    1. There is no father currently involved in the family; or
    2. Everyone was working off a single original source that didn't mention a father.

    If #1, it may be that the father departed under some circumstance that mentioning him would bring the family pain.

    What is really interesting is something you appear to have missed: they'd been "dating" for 3 years - since she was 10 and he was 12. They lived in the same neighborhood. Would anyone thought it odd that a couple of kids from the same neighborhood, only a couple years different in age, were friends?

    Also, how did mom (or anyone) miss that the girl was a day before delivery when she said that "having a child was out of the question"?

    I'm amazed the girl survived the delivery alone.

    By Blogger jeff, at 4:57 PM  

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